''Judging from how many people got naked during my set, I think I went over quite well.'' — Elvis Costello, discussing Woodstock 99, on Live With Regis & Kathie Lee
''Friends follows the adventures of six attractive New Yorkers who drink coffee, dream life's dreams, and expertly avoid the city's minority population.'' — Jon Stewart on The Daily Show
''The U.S. Women's World Cup soccer team presented President Clinton with a game jersey, and he was so excited because it was the first time in a long time that a woman has given him a piece of clothing that wasn't considered evidence.'' — David Letterman on Late Show
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