SOUND BITES
''Keanu Reeves is expecting his first child.... Keanu says he doesn't care if it's a chick or a dude as long as it's, you know, cool.'' DENNIS MILLER on Dennis Miller Live
''Over the weekend, Monica Lewinsky suffered minor cuts and scrapes after her car overturned on the highway. Afterwards, Monica was quoted as saying 'Great, I ruined another dress.''' CONAN O'BRIEN on Late Night
''The Boy Scouts were frightful at the prospect of gay men joining the hallowed ranks of troop leaders, a job now reserved for drunk dads, failed-athlete dads, and dads who don't know they're gay.'' JON STEWART on The Daily Show
''Hillary Clinton discovered she has some Jewish in her, and it's ironic because Monica Lewinsky, who is Jewish, has some Clinton in her.'' DAVID LETTERMAN on Late Show
