''Next week they're going to auction off an original boarding pass to the Titanic. I've got one of those — it's my contract with CBS.''
David Letterman on Late Show
''I had my own party at home, and when James Coburn won, I just muted the sound and gave my own speech.''
Bill Murray, about his Oscar snub, on The Late Late Show With Craig Kilborn
''Over the weekend, the Baltimore Orioles played the Cuban national team in Cuba. There was one weird moment when a Cuban player got thrown out trying to go from first to Miami.''
Conan O'Brien on Late Night
''What sport did you play?''
Alyssa Milano, to ex-NFL great Terry Bradshaw, on The Tonight Show
''After the capture of three U.S. soldiers, President Clinton warned Serbia that the U.S. 'takes care of its own.' That's true, Bill, but I don't think a job at Revlon is what those three soldiers need right now.''
Dennis Miller on Dennis Miller Live
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