''Yesterday, Hillary Clinton was principal for a day at a New York City middle school. Apparently, the kids loved it because they could all fool around and she had no idea that anything was going on.''
Conan O'Brien on Late Night
''Congratulations are in order to Woody Allen — he and Soon-Yi have a brand-new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.''
David Letterman on Late Show
''Politically, I tolerate the heterosexual lifestyle but personally, I find the actual act rather repulsive.''
Jack (Sean Hayes) on Will & Grace
''Monica Lewinsky said today, if they make a TV movie about the scandal, she wants Neve Campbell to play her.... President Clinton said today, if they get Neve Campbell to play Monica, he'll play himself.''
Jay Leno on The Tonight Show
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