''JFK Jr. has written an article proposing that Americans be allowed to vote for President over the Internet. If it happens, it will be a very close race between George W. Bush and Alyssa Milano.''
Conan O'Brien on Late Night
''Temperatures soared into the 90s today, and New York City police are so overwhelmed they've taken to violating suspects with a Popsicle.''
Jon Stewart on The Daily Show
''Star Wars is the No. 1 movie in America for the third weekend in a row. Call me crazy, but I smell a sequel.''
Jay Leno on The Tonight Show
''I'm obsessed with one machine at the gym -- the vending machine.''
Caroline Rhea, guesting on The Daily Show
''I wanted to invite every woman who'd ever turned me down, but then we would've had to add a second show.''
Ray Romano, discussing his recent Carnegie Hall gig, on Late Show With David Letterman
Add your comment
The rules: Keep it clean, and stay on the subject or we might delete your comment. If you see inappropriate language, e-mail us. An asterisk * indicates a required field.