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?YO QUIERO TELETUBBIES? There's a giant sucking sound in Teletubbyland. Itsy bitsy Entertainment, the U.S. distributor of the British kid-TV phenom Teletubbies, is up in arms over TeleChobis (sounds like Telechubbies), a Latino version of the show about the colorful elfin dumplings currently being aired by Mexican broadcaster TV Azteca. Itsy bitsy's lawyers are calling the Chobis -- named Nita, Toso, Ton, and Tis -- a blatant copyright infringement. ''We've asked TV Azteca to take it off the air and end this peacefully,'' says David Levine, the company's legal-affairs director. Levine says the Mexican network initially was interested in Teletubbies but balked at Itsy bitsy's requirement that it air commercial free. Producer Alejandro Romero says TeleChobis was developed by Azteca's own ''creative team'' and is doing ''pretty well'' in the ratings. He also says he's never heard of Teletubbies. Levine discards that like an old piece of Tubby Toast, vowing ''We intend to take all necessary legal actions to protect our rights.'' -- Scott Brown and Allyssa Lee
CLASS SYSTEM Turns out John Cleese really can teach, and not just Silly Walks. The ex-Monty Python member has become a visiting prof at Cornell University, conducting seminars on psychology and management (about which he's cowritten books and produced videos), comic acting, and his 1988 film A Fish Called Wanda. Cleese, costar of the upcoming remake of The Out-of-Towners, will continue his tenure at the Ithaca, N.Y., campus until 2004. ''I've always enjoyed teaching,'' he says. ''Putting information across in an invigorating way is one of the most effective things I do.'' Any chance for a reprise of the sex-ed demo from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life? ''Absolutely not,'' says Cleese. ''Even if I could.'' -- Nancy Mills
ETC. Pamela Anderson Lee has rescued swimmers (Baywatch), run amok in leather (Barb Wire), and kicked bad-guy butt (V.I.P.). But now, as a guest voice on Matt Groening's new animated Fox sitcom Futurama (see story on page 26), she may be in for her wildest role yet: a conniving disembodied head in a jar. ''She was pleased that it was easier than her real job and that she didn't have to sit in makeup for an hour,'' says Futurama exec producer David Cohen, who's already nabbed Lee for another episode. The best part? Says Cohen, ''No one can accuse us of casting her for her body.''
