Green Grosser

Wary of scaring off Stateside viewers with such hardcore high jinks, Green and MTV are putting forth a kinder, gentler freak show (which has quickly become one of the network's highest-rated prime-time programs, pulling in nearly 1 million viewers a week). New episodes beginning in mid-April will find the comic scattering his grandpa's ashes (actually cat litter) in "inappropriate" places (like the boys' underwear section at Wal-Mart), sipping strangers' drinks from afar with a six-foot straw, and walking around Central Park shoving a boom mike in people's faces, just for fun. With his parents still in Ottawa, the currently New York-based Green is giving Mom and Dad a break — for now. "The maddest they've ever been is when I threw a severed cow's head in their bed at 3 a.m. Mom couldn't go to work the next day," he says. "But when it's all edited and the car's fixed and there's not too much blood on the bedspread and the house is painted white again and they hear the audience laughing, I think they get off on it." Maybe so, Tom, but just in case, you should probably keep that chloroform handy.