Hollywood Toothsayers

Used to be the Academy rewarded actors who portrayed the mentally challenged. This year, it's more like the dentally challenged. Ever since Austin Powers made rotting teeth hip, it seems serious thespians have been chomping at the bit to play characters lacking a nice bite. But is the severity of their tooth decay serious enough to merit the award? We asked New York City dentists Dr. Kenneth Aschheim and Dr. Jack Hirsch to weigh in. Actors, get ready for your Close-Up.

Nominee: Geoffrey Rush, Best Supporting Actor
Cavity-Prone Role: Pitiful theater owner Philip Henslowe in Shakespeare in Love
Dental Plan: ''Ugly, just ugly,'' says Hirsch. ''Misshapen and very uneven.''
Oscar Prognosis: ''Excellent gum recession,'' says Hirsch, ''as well as good bone erosion.'' That kind of authenticity could take root at award time.

Nominee: Judi Dench, Best Supporting Actress
Cavity-Prone Role: Pitiless Queen Elizabeth in Shakespeare in Love
Dental Plan: ''Her teeth were stained and uncared for — on the verge of exfoliating [falling out],'' says Hirsch. ''All typical of the Elizabethan age.''
Oscar Prognosis: ''The aesthetics of her teeth were so awful, she has to win,'' says Hirsch.

Nominee: Nick Nolte, Best Actor
Cavity-Prone Role: Pitiful son in Affliction
Dental Plan: ''He portrayed the pain [of yanking out his own infected tooth] very well,'' says Hirsch. ''And the gap where it was pulled from was accurately gruesome.'' Adds Aschheim: ''From the blood, it must have been hyperemic [having inflamed tissue].''
Oscar Prognosis: ''A tough movie,'' says Hirsch. ''He should get the award.''

Nominee: Billy Bob Thornton, Best Supporting Actor
Cavity-Prone Role: Pitiful brother Jacob in A Simple Plan
Dental Plan: ''He hasn't seen a toothbrush in aeons,'' says Aschheim. ''Also, he looks like a case of nursing-bottle syndrome [when sugar-based formula decays an infant's teeth].''
Oscar Prognosis: Though he's ''the poster mouth for not brushing,'' Aschheim saw nothing extraordinary about this oral history.