Dee Snider's Strangeland (1999)

In what may be the worst movie ever written by a rock star, Lawn Guylander Snider — looking as if his Bedazzler ran amuck — plays a ''modern primitive'' sadist who sexually mutilates teens he meets in chat rooms in Strangeland. But at least this dreary tripe gave me one chuckle: When Robert Englund showed up, sans his usual Freddy Krueger goop, as a muscle-teed vigilante, I half-expected him to proclaim, ''It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken.'' D-