''New York State agreed Tuesday to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed nearly three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.'' COLIN QUINN on SNL
''In a recent interview, Posh Spice said that every once in a while her husband likes to put on a pair of her underwear. Not only that, in another interview, Jennifer Lopez said that every once in a while her entourage likes to put on a pair of her underwear.'' CONAN O'BRIEN on Late Night
''There are still very few Y2K computer glitches to report. A few people got DMV renewal notices labeled 1900. On the Internet, there was a video of Pam Anderson having sex with a drummer from the Ziegfeld Follies.'' BILL MAHER on Politically Incorrect
''O.J. Simpson has a new girlfriend. It's unbelievable! He's serious about it. He's already, apparently, planning his alibi.'' DAVID LETTERMAN on Late Show
