Lord of the Flies

He's weathered B.B. the cantankerous geriatric castaway and a nasty animal attack. But can Survivor host Jeff Probst make it through the ultimate challenge — EW's 10 stupid questions?

The Island of Dr. Moreau had a midget. Fantasy Island had a midget. Where's your midget?
Actually, we mummified him and made him the immunity idol.

During the tribal council, we're told, ''On the island, fire represents life.'' I have just one question: Who writes this stuff?
Nobody. That's the problem.

How the heck did you amuse yourself at night (wink wink)?
Five words: mescaline in their water supply.

What CBS show would you vote off the island first? And please say Nash Bridges.
It'd be Nash Bridges. I just think it's time for Don Johnson to get off the air.

What's the deal with kicking the old people off the island first? I thought CBS loved old people!
It's an image retooling — on the advice of the same people who wrote, ''On the island, fire represents life.''

Sonja or Mrs. Howell?
Mrs. Howell. I just couldn't take that ukulele.

Where did you get your worst bug bite?
The worst bite I got was actually a stinger jellyfish on my left testicle while standing in the water during a walk-the-beam challenge. They got the footage, and if you look real close, about every 10 seconds I'm reaching under the water to try and get some circulation going there.

Ouch. So do you think Bob Barker would have been too much of a wuss to handle this job?
They actually talked with him about doing the show. The problem was that he could only take one luxury item, and he couldn't choose between the three Barker's Beauties.

Okay, the tape recorder's off. Just between you and me: Who wins this thing, anyway?
I ain't talkin', but it's amazing the names people [guess]. If you think you have any idea, judging by the first episode, you're either lucky or you better think again.