''The only reason I'd bring a Bible is if I needed toilet paper.''
Rudy, discussing teammate Dirk's reading material, on Survivor

''Yesterday, George W. Bush said that there is no good reason why the United States is second to last in standardized test scores. Bush said, 'It's appalling that the only country to score below us is that one next to the country shaped like a boot.'''
Conan O'Brien on Late Night

''It was so hot in the city today, New Yorkers were actually going indoors to urinate.''
David Letterman on Late Show

''I'm not sure bisexuality even exists. I think it's just a layover on the way to Gaytown.''
Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) on Sex and the City


Sign up for EW.com's The 25 newsletter!

Stay in the know and get EW.com's top 5 stories, 5 days a week (sent weekday afternoons).
  • Print
  • Del.icio.us
  • Google
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • Digg
  • More
 

Add Your Comments

The rules: Keep it clean, and stay on the subject or we might delete your comment. If you see inappropriate language, e-mail us. You must have javascript enabled to submit a comment.
characters remaining

Copyright © 2008 Entertainment Weekly and Time Inc. All rights reserved.