Sporting a villainous mustache, James Spader does a hammy turn in Slow Burn as one of two escaped cons (Josh Brolin is the other) who stumble onto a diamond fortune stashed in the Tex-Mex desert. Meanwhile, Minnie Driver plays it thanklessly straight as the obsessed woman who's spent her life seeking those stones. The treasure hunters fritter the film away squawking about their bad breaks. They may be stuck with one another, but, thankfully, we can leave. C-


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