''No offense, but you don't have the best track record when it
comes to hair.''
Noel (Scott Foley), as Felicity (Keri Russell)
washes out his blond streaks, on Felicity
''Serious feng shui problem.''
Munch (Richard Belzer), entering a
blood-splattered room, on Law & Order: SVU
''You can experience levels of clarity and consciousness by going
to Tibet and existing with monks, or you can go to the Belfort
and hang around with the horny Mormon.''
Jamie, about roommate Julie, on The Real World
''How was ladies' night out? What'd you do — talk tampons?''
Doug (Kevin James) to Carrie (Leah Remini) on The King of Queens
''The good news is tonight was the final presidential debate. The
bad news is the choices are still Al Gore and George W. Bush.''
Conan O'Brien on Late Night
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