Ernest in the Army (1998)

Of course, Varney's patented cretin makes an asinine soldier (and, of course, he saves the day in a slapstick Middle East dustup). But this latest Ernest adventure, Ernest in the Army, is worse than dopey; it's dull. So much time is spent developing pointless subplots — with Ernest off screen! — that even die-hard fans should skip to the highlights, in which Ernest pours motor oil on his pancakes and peels the skin off his sunburned lips. After all, some things are too senseless to miss. D-