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Mr. Seinfeld's Neighboorhood

The ultimate Jerry reality tour

Jerry Seinfeld knows New York's a funny town — it's like a ''pie in the face every day,'' he once said. So even though Seinfeld committed the shocking treason of filming mostly in Los Angeles, the series made sure to load up on Big Apple juice. Seinfeld brims with New York references, addresses, and exterior locations — albeit often geographically unrealistic ones (these Upper West Side dwellers couldn't find a health club closer than 70 blocks away?). As a service, we put on our J. Peterman explorer's cap and compiled this map.

1. MONK'S CAFE Supposedly across from Jerry's 81st St. apartment. But the gang of four's unofficial HQ is actually Tom's Restaurant on 112th Street and Broadway — yup, more than a mile from Jerry's digs.

2. MOUNT SINAI MEDICAL CENTER (101st St. and Fifth Ave.) Where Kramer enacts gonorrhea.

3. MR. PITT'S APARTMENT (91st St. and West End Ave.) Home to Elaine's Snickers-eating employer.

4. ELAINE'S SECOND APARTMENT (78 West 86th St.) Building that's out of Chinese-food delivery range.

5. FITZPATRICK'S BAR AND GRILL (1641 Second Ave.) Where Elaine and Keith Hernandez canoodle; George boozes with some ''bastards'' who work for the Houston Astros.

6. JERRY'S AND KRAMER'S BUILDING, THE SHELBY (129 West 81st St. — although the facade viewers see is in L.A.) Site of Snapple-packed fridge and snappy retorts.

7. THE BOLIVAR (230 Central Park West) Jerry's real-life, pre-Seinfeld bachelor pad.

8. THE BERESFORD (211 Central Park West) Jerry's real-life, $4.35 million post-Seinfeld bachelor pad.

9. H&H BAGELS (2239 Broadway) Kramer attempts to return to work here after 12 years on strike.

10. PAPAYA KING (72nd St. and Broadway — real name Gray's Papaya) Home of Kramer's favorite hot dog: ''It's better than filet mignon!''

11. CHAMPAGNE VIDEO (2183 Broadway) Reading-phobic book-club member George tries to rent Breakfast at Tiffany's; Elaine has a phone romance with a teenage employee; George spots newly gay Susan with her girlfriend.

12. TIM WHATLEY'S APARTMENT (77th St. and CPW) Site of Jerry's Woody Woodpecker balloon mishap.

13. ELAINE'S FIRST APARTMENT (16 West 75th St., Apt. 2G) Where a Chinese restaurant blacklists her.

14. SCHNITZER'S BAKERY (237 West 72nd St. — real name The Royale Pastry Shop) Maker of the famous chocolate babka and marble rye.

15. SOTHEBY'S (1334 York Ave.) Peterman has Elaine bid for JFK's golf clubs; Peterman nabs a piece of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor's 1937 wedding cake — which Elaine mistakenly eats.

16. KENNY ROGERS ROASTERS (71st Street and Broadway — now called Roasters) Kramer has a beef with the eatery's neon sign.

17. HOTEL WESTBURY (15 East 69th St.) Jerry and George meet hard-drinking Mr. Benes in the lobby.

18. REGENCY THEATRE (1987 Broadway) Jerry engages in an ill-advised Schindler's List make-out session; Elaine buys Jujyfruits before visiting hospitalized Jake Jarmel.

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