Wherefore Art Thou Leo?

Alas, the art of the quickie bio—a recycled quote here, a perky quizlet there, a generous smattering of photographs—is hardly a singular one, particularly when the subject is a towheaded teen idol. Herein, how to tell apart the recent Leonardo DiCaprio "exposes." (Or...not.)

LEONARDO DICAPRIO: A BIOGRAPHY (Pocket, $4.50), by Nancy Krulik Number of Pages 95 Author Cred Profiled New Kids on the Block and Vanilla Ice Method Numerology, astrology Distinguishing Factoid Leo's eyes are called "a beautiful sea-like blue-green," "soft blue-green," "sexy blue-green," and "blue-green—and very sexy."

LEONARDO: ROMANTIC HERO (Andrews McMeel, $10.95), by Mark Bego Number of Pages 96 Author Cred "Libras rule," sez he. Method Blind adulation: "Titanic had sunk, but Leonardo DiCaprio soared." Leo is called "a very unique individual." Distinguishing Factoid Leo has "piercing blue eyes."

LEONARDO DICAPRIO: MODERN-DAY ROMEO (Dell, $4.99), by Grace Catalano Number of Pages 127 Author Cred Previously profiled New Kids on the Block and Joey Lawrence Method Filmography Distinguishing Factoid Leo has "piercing blue-green eyes."

LOVIN' LEO: YOUR LEONARDO DICAPRIO KEEPSAKE SCRAPBOOK(Scholastic, $5.99), by Stefanie Scott Number of Pages 48 Author Cred Text is festooned with smooch marks. Method Astrology, hyperbole Distinguishing Factoid Leo was a "true-blue" fan of the New York Mets.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO (Berkley Boulevard, $11.95), by Douglas Thompson Number of Pages 96 Author Cred Undermined by his misspelling of Kate Winslet's name Method Mixology—of metaphors: "[H]e was a back page gossip column accident just temporarily parked..." Distinguishing Factoid Leo has "piercing blue eyes."

THE LEONARDO DICAPRIO ALBUM (Plexus, $15.95), by Brian J Robb Number of Pages 104 Author Cred Profiled most of Leo's peers Method Sober, semi-academic Distinguishing Factoid 50% off at Barnes & Noble; they must be making room for Golden Boy: The Matt Damon Story.