It must have been the fulfillment of a dream. With AN ALAN SMITHEE FILM: BURN HOLLYWOOD BURN (1998, Hollywood, R, $103.99) Joe Eszterhas, king of hollow screenwriting -- a man who gets mill-ion-dollar deals by waving a napkin's worth of notes -- streamlined the process by turning in the napkin. The mildest of mockumentaries, Smithee is still breathtaking in its shamelessness as buffoons of all ranks -- Eric Idle, Richard Jeni, Sylvester Stallone -- sketch a story of Hollywood egotism too thin to be dramatized. The only acting tender enough to convey delusions of grandeur comes from Chinatown (and Jade) producer Robert Evans, playing himself, and Leslie Stefanson (As Good as It Gets), playing a call girl he has on constant call. She calls him Daddy; he calls her Kid. He's so deep in his own suavity he's irresistible, though it's never a question of love.
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