SABRINA, THE TEENAGE WITCH ABC, 9-9:30 PM
No longer content to be an adolescent Bewitched, Sabrina tackles such tough issues as gambling (Salem the Cat picks up this bad habit), drug abuse (Sabrina gets hooked on pancakes, which are highly addictive to witches), and...flatulence? That's right, Sabrina cuts one in class to make a friend who made a fool out of herself feel less embarrassed. "I was like, 'No way, I won't do that!'" recalls star Melissa Joan Hart. "Then I read the script and I was like, 'No way, this is so funny!'" Will ABC's censors let it fly? Yup, says exec producer Paula Hart (Melissa Joan's mom): "They said it's okay because it's a magical fart." No way! (Sept. 25)
LOVE BOAT: THE NEXT WAVE UPN, 9-10 PM
In its new, later time slot, "we're going to be sexier, campier, quirkier," says captain Robert Urich. "They want a little undercurrent of sexual tension with Joan Severance and me. We're talking handcuffs and everything." We must have missed the episode when Gavin MacLeod's Capt. Merrill Stubing got into bondage. At any rate, this is not your father's Boat. "We were criticized, 'Why would you bring back The Love Boat--it wasn't any good the first time,'" admits Urich. "But just because there were all those bad World War II movies, that didn't prevent Steven Spielberg from doing Saving Private Ryan." Maybe Cap'n Bob's been out at sea too long. (Oct. 9)
NASH BRIDGES CBS, 10-11 PM
Cheech and Don see their lives go up in smoke as Joe (Cheech Marin) accidentally burns down his house and must move into a building owned by Nash (Don Johnson), whose girlfriend gets killed (Kelly Hu is leaving the show to costar in creator Carlton Cuse's new CBS series, Martial Law). Wait, it gets worse: Nash loses all his cash after his corrupt accountant commits suicide. "He finds himself doing things he wouldn't do in a million years to pay for his daughter's college," says Cuse. Like what? "He helps a Cher impersonator hunt down another Cher impersonator who stole her wig and her Sonny. Nash's attitude is, there's nowhere lower to go." Well, there's always UPN. (Sept. 25)
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