HOLDING THE BABY FOX, 7:30-8 PM DEBUTED AUG. 23

CONCEPT Single dad (Jon Patrick Walker) has to find somebody to hold the baby while he works. Enter: pretty young nanny (Jennifer Westfeldt, above). THE SCOOP Baby is based on a Brit show that, according to exec producer Howard J. Morris, was ''funny but with a very different sense of humor.'' Having seen this pilot, we can only conclude he means the English version had jokes. Morris says the show will be ''driven by the baby.... There's a whole episode where he loses the baby's Mr. Hoppity, and they go through hoops to get it back.'' BOTTOM LINE We'd go through hoops to put this stinker back in Fox's development pipeline.

THE ARMY SHOW THE WB, 9:30-10 PM DEBUTS SEPT. 13

CONCEPT A Sgt. Bilko for the '90s (i.e., dumber, without the seasoned professionalism of Phil Silvers), starring Ellen's David Anthony Higgins (above). THE SCOOP In a rare display of good aesthetic taste, the U.S. Army declined to assist the makers of this show. Says creator J.J. Wall, ''They asked to see a script, and then at that point, they suddenly stopped returning our phone calls.'' Could it have anything to do with the recruits hanging out in a bar called House of Jugs? BOTTOM LINE Typical line: ''These boots are really uncomfortable. Doesn't the Army make sandals?'' Viewers, we trust, will go AWOL to avoid this one.


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