Warning: The Olsen twins headlining this direct-to-video romp are not the same girls who built ABC's Full House. Three years after their series' cancellation, Mary-Kate and Ashley have reached that awkward age when they'd rather be auditioning for Dawson's Creek. In Billboard Dad they harbor crushes on a Ken-doll-handsome swim coach, bestow light kisses on would-be suitors, and, in a Parent Trap-meets-Sleepless in Seattle twist, play much-too-knowing Cupids for their widowed father via a California billboard. Are you ready to hear a 12-year-old ask, ''Do we need to give you the safe sex talk?'' Didn't think so. C+
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