L.A. Doctors

If it weren't so almost-good, L.A. Doctors wouldn't be quite so bad. The show wants to do something different with the medical genre by taking the action out of the hospital and into the offices of a private practice, devising a sort of L.A. Law with stethoscopes. Which might be kind of fun, except that these doctors are deadly. Ken Olin's Dr. Cattan radiates a vampiric coldness; I wouldn't let him take my blood pressure lest he bite my arm. Rick Roberts' Dr. Newman is so dewy-eyed earnest, he makes ER's Noah Wyle look like Hannibal Lecter, while Matt Craven's Dr. Lonner seems to be waiting around for a personality donor.

Only Twin Peaks' Sheryl Lee, as the brisk Dr. Church, is permitted the dignified comportment of dedicated professionalism — so of course the producers have to give her a lousy love life. The plots? Try the typical one about a fireman who keeps the rest of his crew awake at night because he snores too loudly. I doubt even he could keep me alert for another episode of this series. D