''Famed anthropologist Mary Leakey died at the age of 83. Leakey was buried near her home, where she will rest in peace, until some nosy anthropologist digs her up.'' -- Norm MacDonald on SNL
''In honor of Frank Sinatra's birthday, the Empire State Building is covered in blue light....And, of course, the observation tower is covered with a giant toupee.'' -- David Letterman on Late Show
''An image of the Virgin Mary appeared on the side of a bank in Clearwater, Florida. What's everyone so excited about? Where else would a 2,000-year-old Jewish woman go for the winter?'' -- Craig Kilborn on The Daily Show
''The E! network has fired the actor who plays O.J. Simpson in their reenactments of the civil trial. They had to. Apparently, he was almost as bad an actor as O.J. Simpson.'' -- Conan O'Brien on Late Night
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