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''I'm a huge Primus fan and so, as you can imagine if you've ever been to a Primus show, I was more than shocked when I heard the Pee-wee theme playing before they came out. To see people moshing to that absurd bit of music brought tears to my eyes. Not exactly what I expected when I wrote it.'' -- Film and TV composer Danny Elfman on America Online
''I be thinking that Ebonics be stupid.'' -- Spike Lee on Prodigy
''I don't know why I'm neurotic, but I'm happier than most people think. Please tell your kids I was the prince, not the king [in Robin Hood: Men in Tights].... Unfortunately, [because of] the tights I wore, my internist thinks my sperm is too flat to fertilize an egg. I'm really depressed about it.'' -- Richard Lewis on Prodigy
''I'm looking for backing for an unauthorized autobiography that I'm writing. Hopefully, this will sell in such huge numbers that I'll be able to sue myself for an extraordinary amount of money and finance the film version in which I will play everybody.'' -- David Bowie on AOL
''Nobody does my hair. I get out of the shower and I just towel-dry it, and hopefully it falls in the right spot. If it does not, I have a bad hair day.... The trick is not to wash it. My sister [Justine] taught me that.'' -- Chicago Sons' Jason Bateman on AOL
''The key to landing a role on Baywatch is having big white teeth.''
