--If a shock jock breaks wind in the forest, does he make a sound? Websites devoted to Stern teem with titillating sound bites. Check out the Unofficial Howard Stern Sound Page (www2.liglobal.com/stern), where you can sample audio from Stern's dad, Ben ("I told you not to be stupid, you moron!"), celebrities like David Letterman (calling on Stern's birthday: "I'm surprised there's still a little ass left to kiss"), and, of course, the man himself ("You're listening to the man who uses Sharon Stone like a toilet").
--Isn't it true that Stern's just the puppet of Jackie Martling? JokeLand (www.jackiejokeman.com), the home page of Stern's long-suffering gag writer, is one of the most technically sophisticated sites on the Web, regaling visitors with real-time background music, twirling blue stars that have no real significance but look pretty cool, and, naturally, pages and pages of pretty hysterical dirty jokes (none of which, needless to say, can be reprinted here).
--How long has Howard been a supporter of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals? Frequent gibes have been made at the expense of Martling's beloved Timmy the Cat, who met an untimely vehicular end (commiserates Howard at regular intervals, "F Timmy!"). Superfan Mark Mercer has actually created Timmy's Last Adventure, "an animated, interactive reenactment of Timmy's last moments on Earth." Ailurophobes can down-load it at members.aol.com/luusir/private/game-pg.htm.
--As a kid, did Stern have the hots for Marta Kristen (Lost in Space's buxom Judy Robinson)? A recent posting on alt.fan. howard-stern claims Stern has been offered a "small but integral" part in the upcoming Lost in Space movie. May we suggest Bloop?
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