''I'm not your type. My breasts are real.'' -- Paula (Janeane Garofalo), after Larry (Garry Shandling) asked her out to dinner, on The Larry Sanders Show
''U2 kicked off their new tour in New York yesterday, making a surprise appearance at a downtown Kmart. Fellow Irish performer Sinead O'Connor was also on hand, but she works there.'' -- Norm MacDonald on SNL
''It never entered my mind that I'd be considered a distinguished film actress, like Courtney Love.'' -- Debbie Reynolds accepting her American Comedy award
''Snoop Doggy Dogg and Puffy Combs will try to repair the rift between East and West Coast rappers by appearing on The Steve Harvey Show. Now all we need is to repair the rift between the viewing public and The Steve Harvey Show.'' -- Chris Rock on The Chris Rock Show
