THE PERILS OF 'PAULY'

Married...With Children looks like Moliere compared with PAULY (Fox, Mondays, 9:30-10 p.m.), ex-MTV personality Pauly Shore's appalling new sitcom. Sporting a shorter haircut that only accentuates his freakishly oversize forehead, Shore stars as an infantile Brentwood slacker whose rich-brat paradise is ruined when his big-businessman dad (Sisters' David Dukes) brings home his gold-digging, blond-bimbo fiancee (The Five Mrs. Buchanans' Charlotte Ross), who wants Pauly out of the house.

To the studio audience's delight, breast jokes abound -- seven in the pilot alone, by my count. (Pauly, describing his soon-to-be stepmother: ''She's filled with more plastic than Toys 'R' Us!'' Audience: ''Woooooh!'') Shockingly, the crowd seems to find Shore desirable, screaming with delight when he parades around in formfitting jockey shorts and in a skintight wet suit. Where did they find these people -- in prison?

The perennially amateurish Shore mugs his way through the show, and the supporting cast seems too dispirited to care. All-American Girl grandma Amy Hill is handed another insulting stereotype as the sassy Asian-American housekeeper, and Kevin Weisman appears to have been cast as Pauly's video-store geek buddy solely on the basis of his unfortunate resemblance to Quentin Tarantino.

Pauly's only truly hilarious gag comes during the show's opening credits, when we read, ''Executive Producer: Pauly Shore.'' Unfortunately, the joke's on us. F

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