Rob Schneider, action hero? Sure -- if wit is the weapon. In AnyRiver Entertainment's fast-paced island-adventure CD-ROM, A Fork in the Tale, the actor-comedian is a sarcastic alter ego who provides jokey voice-over commentary as players navigate a parallel fantasy world filled with fetching huntresses, humorless soldiers, and a loony shaman. Shuttling between L.A. (where he tapes NBC's Men Behaving Badly) and San Francisco (where he lives the rest of the time), Schneider, 31, spent six months, off and on, recording more than 5,000 lines of dialogue. A man on the run, he recently phoned from outside a bathroom in a North Beach Italian restaurant to give us the skinny on both the future and his sordid past (that would be 1993's Surf Ninjas).
-- Erin Richter
Why did you decide to star in this CD-ROM?
It was here in the Bay Area, and I knew some of the comedians writing it. I like being in a room full of funny people. It's almost as good as sex. That's what I miss about Saturday Night Live. Not the sex. I'm glad that I'm not having sex with them, but I miss hanging around with brilliant, or pseudo-brilliant, minds.
Do you have much experience with technology?
Not at all. I feel like I'm going to be like those Stone Age people...who, once they are introduced to society and television, all commit suicide or die in their 20s.
Which had better catering, Men Behaving Badly or the game?
The game! I'm afraid our [show's] crew is going to die from high blood pressure. Whereas we had really nice, lean cuts of meat at the game...a lot of vegetables and fresh fruit. Actually, everyone was in better shape at the end of the CD-ROM. Everyone's hair got a little fuller; their skin looked a little clearer; their paunches receded just a touch.
Will there be a Surf Ninjas 2?
Frankly, no. There's not enough money in the world. Some actors started out in porno. It's my porno...without the sex.
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