Wail of the Century

Fade in: A TV soundstage packed with grim-faced, flannel-clad dancers. An elfin man enters, smiling: ''Hi, I'm the Artist. Prince — remember? Once upon a time, I commanded you to party like it's 1999. And guess what? That time's almost here!'' [Enter female extras, who caress his torso and legs.] ''What better way to celebrate the new millennium than Century Rock! That's right — your fave hits about the end of the 20th century, collected on one emancipating album!''

Okay, so this ad doesn't exist — but it should. The close of the 20th century has figured into enough songs to fill an album. To prepare for that New Year's Eve 2000 bash, make a tape of these tunes — and, well, party like it's no longer 1999.

PRINCE: ''1999'' (''Sky was all purple, there were people runnin' everywhere/Trying to run from my destruction/You know, I didn't even care'')

PAUL WESTERBERG: ''Century'' (''The millennium has come at last/My one-horse town is made of glass.... My century is turning'')

STEVE GOODMAN: ''The 20th Century Is Almost Over'' (''Has anyone seen my linoleum floors/Petroleum jelly and two World Wars?'')

SUPERIOR: ''Polaroid Millennium,'' from The Saint soundtrack (''The rising starts right here/The future's always near'')

RAMONES: ''Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio?'' (''It's the end, the end of the '70s/It's the end, the end of the century'')

ROLLING STONES: ''2000 Man'' (''I am having an affair with a random computer.... Don't you know I'm a 2000 man'')

R.E.M.: ''Electrolite'' (''20th century, go to sleep'')

WILCO: ''I Got You (At the End of the Century)'' (''It's the end of the century/I can't think of anything/Except you'')

STRAUSS: ''Also Sprach Zarathustra'' (the 2001: A Space Odysseyversion, naturally)

UNLISTED BONUS TRACK: Zager & Evans: ''In the Year 2525'' (''If man is still alive/If woman can survive'')