Fade in: A TV soundstage packed with grim-faced, flannel-clad dancers. An elfin man enters, smiling: ''Hi, I'm the Artist. Prince remember? Once upon a time, I commanded you to party like it's 1999. And guess what? That time's almost here!'' [Enter female extras, who caress his torso and legs.] ''What better way to celebrate the new millennium than Century Rock! That's right your fave hits about the end of the 20th century, collected on one emancipating album!''
Okay, so this ad doesn't exist but it should. The close of the 20th century has figured into enough songs to fill an album. To prepare for that New Year's Eve 2000 bash, make a tape of these tunes and, well, party like it's no longer 1999.
PRINCE: ''1999'' (''Sky was all purple, there were people runnin' everywhere/Trying to run from my destruction/You know, I didn't even care'')
PAUL WESTERBERG: ''Century'' (''The millennium has come at last/My one-horse town is made of glass.... My century is turning'')
STEVE GOODMAN: ''The 20th Century Is Almost Over'' (''Has anyone seen my linoleum floors/Petroleum jelly and two World Wars?'')
SUPERIOR: ''Polaroid Millennium,'' from The Saint soundtrack (''The rising starts right here/The future's always near'')
RAMONES: ''Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio?'' (''It's the end, the end of the '70s/It's the end, the end of the century'')
ROLLING STONES: ''2000 Man'' (''I am having an affair with a random computer.... Don't you know I'm a 2000 man'')
R.E.M.: ''Electrolite'' (''20th century, go to sleep'')
WILCO: ''I Got You (At the End of the Century)'' (''It's the end of the century/I can't think of anything/Except you'')
STRAUSS: ''Also Sprach Zarathustra'' (the 2001: A Space Odysseyversion, naturally)
UNLISTED BONUS TRACK: Zager & Evans: ''In the Year 2525'' (''If man is still alive/If woman can survive'')


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