''The first thing that crossed my mind was to bite him back.'' EVANDER HOLYFIELD, commenting on his reaction when Mike Tyson gnawed his ear, on Late Show With David Letterman
''Drug kingpin Amado Carrillo Fuentes...died from nine hours of liposuction and plastic surgery — or, as it's commonly known here in Beverly Hills, natural causes.'' BILL MAHER on Politically Incorrect
''Scientists are comparing Mars' arid surface to Arizona — with one difference: The people of Mars willingly celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday.'' CRAIG KILBORN on The Daily Show
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