''It was even scary at 6:30 in the evening.'' BETTY WHITE, after host Craig Kilborn asked her if fellow Golden Girl Bea Arthur's voice was scary in the morning, on The Daily Show
''You are an idiot.'' BILL MAHER, to Pauly Shore, on Politically Incorrect
''R.J. Reynolds said they will voluntarily stop using the Joe Camel cartoon character in their advertising because they have another, more effective campaign. Then they unveiled their new mascot, 'Joe Penis Head.' '' CONAN O'BRIEN on Late Night


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