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Sound Bites

TV's funniest lines from August 29 to September 4, 1997

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''It's the President's birthday today, and they had a big celebration with all the notables from Cape Cod. They were very polite and served lobster, because they didn't want Michael Kennedy's date to be the only one wearing a bib.''
BILL MAHER on Politically Incorrect

''Dudley Moore has filed for divorce from his wife, citing cruelty. Apparently, she's been putting his food up on the top shelf.''
CONAN O'BRIEN on Late Night

''Christopher Darden was accused of fathering a 3-month-old girl by a brief relationship with a supermarket checker. I guess, once again, the glove didn't fit.''
CHRIS SPENCER on Vibe