''It's the President's birthday today, and they had a big
celebration with all the notables from Cape Cod. They were very
polite and served lobster, because they didn't want Michael
Kennedy's date to be the only one wearing a bib.''
BILL MAHER on Politically Incorrect
''Dudley Moore has filed for divorce from his wife, citing
cruelty. Apparently, she's been putting his food up on the top
shelf.''
CONAN O'BRIEN on Late Night
''Christopher Darden was accused of fathering a 3-month-old girl
by a brief relationship with a supermarket checker. I guess,
once again, the glove didn't fit.''
CHRIS SPENCER on Vibe
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