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CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS? OUR ADVICE TO THE SITCOM SIX-PACK ON HOW TO REGAIN THEIR FIZZ.
Seems like we've been Friends forever, but amazingly the NBC sitcom has been on the air just three years. Perhaps it feels longer because we've endured so much together -- from birth (Ross' son) to death (downstairs neighbor Mr. Heckles) -- it's been a real romance, with all the attendant highs and lows.
We fell for them in the fall of '94, and the infatuation soon grew intense. Magazine covers, a music video, a calendar, a cookbook -- nothing could satisfy our appetite for that sextet of sexy twentysomethings and their hairdos. In the summer of '95, Friends was No. 1 in our hearts -- and in the Nielsens.
Then came the inevitable rut. We grew tired of their pretty faces. We let ratings dip as Friends moved to its 8 o'clock slot in its second season, scoffed at the 1996 Super Bowl Diet Coke commercials, groaned that the show wasn't as good as it used to be, even as the stars demanded a super pay hike.
Now we've settled into a period of comfortable complacency. The media hype has died down, the ratings have dropped further (this summer, reruns of Friends have often fallen out of the top 10, sometimes even getting beaten by the lowly likes of Men Behaving Badly), but the show is in no danger of going away. In fact, NBC has renewed Friends for three more seasons. Like an old married couple, we're stuck together -- for better or for worse -- into the next century.
How can the Friends put the spark back into our relationship? How can they get America to fall in love with them all over again? Just follow these instructions:
MATTHEW PERRY (Chandler) We're glad you've gained the weight back after your rehab stint for prescription drug dependency. Now keep it on. Your comic timing is impeccable, but it was a lot harder to laugh at Chandler's wisecracks when it looked like a stiff wind could blow you over.
COURTENEY COX (Monica) Get mean. Monica has always been a dishrag. You showed a surprising sharpness as the cutthroat tabloid-TV reporter in Scream. Bring some of that menace to Monica. Isn't it about time for a catfight with your Miss Perfect roommate, Rachel?
DAVID SCHWIMMER (Ross) Awaken the geek within. Your strength as an actor is your nerdy vulnerability -- remember your endearingly gawky vigilante ''4B'' on NYPD Blue? But as Ross and Rachel's romance became Friends' focus, you flirted with becoming a bland leading man. Quit bleaching Ross' dork roots.
JENNIFER ANISTON (Rachel) Go back to waitressing. Rachel's new career in the fashion industry hasn't yielded nearly as much material as her travails at Central Perk did (plus it gave the gang a reason to hang out there). Shelley Long quit her waitressing job at Cheers -- and look what happened to her.
MATT LEBLANC (Joey) Take a cue from your next movie, Lost in Space. Joey's a space cadet, but he's shown disturbing signs of brain growth. Landing a steady job, dating a serious actress -- what's so funny about that? We want the guy who got fired as Al Pacino's butt double!
