The World's Stupidest Criminals

You can't make this stuff up: A blind man robbed a bank, then asked a teller for help leaving; burglars broke into a fireworks warehouse, then lit matches to find their way around; and with Woody Allenesque ineptitude, a would-be robber handed a note to a teller that read, ''I got a bum. I can blow you sky height.'' Culled from newspapers all over the world, these comic true tales include crooks who armed themselves with frozen kangaroo tails or unknowingly made off with empty safes, human heads, and urine samples. As the editors note, in The World's Stupidest Criminals, ''Some criminals are even simpler than the crimes they try to commit.'' A-