WHAT TO WATCH

MONDAY October 13

SYNDICATED* STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE (TV-PG) Worf attempts a rapprochement with his estranged son after seeing him sign on to a Klingon warship. *CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS

8:30-9PM EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND (CBS, TV-PG-L) So much for setting an example: Ray encourages Ally to continue her piano studies with his annoying mom by doing the same.

9-10PM BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (The WB, TV-PG) And you thought Animal House was out of control: Cordelia and Buffy go to a frat party and end up as sacrificial offerings to a half-man, half-snake monster.

9:30-10PM GEORGE & LEO (CBS, TV-PG) Leo resorts to desperate measures -- like pawning some of George's possessions -- to prove his financial stability to his daughter.

10-11PM BROOKLYN SOUTH (CBS, TV-14-LV) Kersey happens upon some information that could clear Lowery's name in a police-brutality investigation. Problem is, it points to her as the guilty party.

MILLER TIME 9-11PM THE HIRED HEART (Lifetime, TV-PG) As an injured-woman-learns-to-love-again tale, Heart is unremarkable except for some downright creepy plot points. Widow Garnet Hadley (Penelope Ann Miller, far right), under pressure from her father-in-law to resume dating, hires an escort (Brett Cullen, right) to pose as her boyfriend. Then things get weird. She falls for said escort, but not before bathing and shaving him as foreplay, then making him wear her dead husband's clothing. Uh, whatever floats your boat. C -- Kristen Baldwin

TUESDAY October 14

8:30-9PM* NEWSRADIO (NBC, TV-PG) Another Andy Dick field day, as his recently fired Matthew keeps showing up at the office in disguise. Dave, meanwhile, is worried that efficency expert Andrea has got it in for him.

9-9:30PM* FRASIER (NBC, TV-PG) At Roz's urging, Frasier agrees to make a celebrity appearance on a pleasure cruise, and Martin and Niles tag along. The Love Boat it ain't. *MAY BE PREEMPTED BY NBC'S COVERAGE OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL PLAYOFFS

9-10PM MICHAEL HAYES (CBS, TV-PG) Investigating an explosion in a British art gallery, Hayes must build a case against a band of hospitalized Irish terrorists.

10-11PM DELLAVENTURA (CBS, TV-PG-L) You think Mr. D. is going to sit still after his ex-police partner is murdered? Fuggeddabowdit!

10-11PM NYPD BLUE (ABC, TV-14-LV) Oh, baby: Medavoy's lesbian breeding partner, Abby, is hurt and her lover killed in an assault, while Gina's pregnancy grows complicated.

STONED AGAIN 10-10:30PM LIVE FROM THE 10 SPOT (MTV, TV-PG) The Rolling Stones inaugurate MTV's addition of real-time performance to their much-vaunted ''10 Spot.'' The commercial-free treat includes an interview by MTV News paterfamilias Kurt Loder.

WEDNESDAY October 15

8-8:30PM SPIN CITY (ABC, TV-PG-D) Guest star Marla Maples attracts another older guy -- the newly single mayor.

POTENTIAL CLASSIC 8-8:30PM THE NANNY (CBS, TV-PG) Fran Drescher reprises her This Is Spinal Tap alter ego, concert promoter from hell Bobbie Flekman.

8:30-9PM DHARMA & GREG (ABC, TV-PG-D) The yin/yangy newlyweds make it official (again) by throwing a do-over wedding.

8:30-9PM MURPHY BROWN (CBS, TV-PG-D) After receiving seven second opinions confirming her breast cancer, a traumatized Murphy must decide whether to have a lumpectomy or a mastectomy.

9:30-10PM ELLEN (ABC) What's a girl to do? Just as she is being pressured to lend her support to gay-owned businesses, Ellen receives an inept pipe job from a homosexual plumber.

GOTTA DANCE! 10-11PM CHICAGO HOPE (CBS, TV-PG-L) ''We felt that it lent itself to a Dennis Potter-style musical, in which the music comments ironically on the action,'' says cowriter Nicole Yorkin of an episode in which a comatose Shutt relives his life in song-and-dance form. One number features Mark Harmon, Vondie Curtis-Hall, and Adam Arkin (left) vamping it up to ''Luck Be a Lady.'' As if to preempt one inevitable comparison, cowriter Dawn Prestwich assures, ''You'll see, it won't remind anyone of Cop Rock.''

THURSDAY October 16

8PM NFL ON TNT (TNT) Pro football encroaches on Thursday nights as the San Diego Chargers and the Kansas City Chiefs take a run at NBC's Must See lineup.

8-8:30PM FRIENDS (NBC, TV-PG) Joey attempts ballroom dancing in order to help Monica and Rachel keep their illegal sublet (don't ask); Phoebe finds one of her massage clients is rubbing her the right way.

8-9PM NOTHING SACRED (ABC) Ray experiences an epiphany during, of all things, a schoolyard B-ball game, just as Leo is questioning his life's purpose.

8:05-10PM STEEL DAWN (TBS, TV-PG) The 1987 futuristic adventure leads off a Patrick Swayze quadruple feature that also includes Red Dawn (1984), Youngblood (1986), and Grandview, USA (1984).

9-10PM CRACKER (ABC) When a newborn baby is snatched from a hospital, Fitz and the LAPD butt heads over the gender -- not to mention the identity -- of the abductor.

9:30-10PM VERONICA'S CLOSET (NBC, TV-PG) The post-breakup acrimony continues, as Veronica brandishes a prenup and Bryce threatens a tell-all book.

10-11PM ER (NBC, TV-PG) Dr. Benton -- or, as we like to call him, Chuckles -- adjusts to life as a daddy and sees things come to a head with Carter; Weaver gives Ross an ultimatum.

10-11PM 48 HOURS (CBS) A look at life-threatening careers like volcanology and smoke jumping (forest-fire fighting).

A JERRY-ATRIC CAMEO 9-9:30PM SEINFELD (NBC, TV-PG) If it seems like Seinfeld has been obsessively reviving past characters this season, well, it has: Bania, David Putty, and now Lloyd Bridges' Izzy Mandelbaum (above), the maddeningly competitive fitness buff from last season's ''The English Patient'' episode. This time around, he arrives as a gift of sorts from Jerry's doting parents, who believe the long-in-the-tooth personal trainer can teach their wide-in-the-waistband son a thing or two about staying in shape.

FRIDAY October 17

9-9:30PM THE GREGORY HINES SHOW (CBS, TV-PG) Matty chases after a birthday gift for Ben -- an autograph from a famously reclusive author.

9-10PM MILLENNIUM (Fox, TV-PG) Frank Black investigates a child-abuse case at a day-care center, and what does it get him? An accusation that he's one of the abusers.

11:30PM-MIDNIGHT THE CHRIS ROCK SHOW (HBO, TV-MA) The omnipresent stand-up comic meets his fast-talking match with two world-famous rappers: Bryant Gumbel and LL Cool J.

SEASON PREMIERE 10-11PM HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET (NBC, TV-14) Commencing the season with a corker of a three-part story, Homicide introduces three new investigators (curt Callie Thorne, blunt Jon Seda, enigmatic Peter Gerety) and a murder involving James Earl Jones (above left, with Andre Braugher) as a wealthy Baltimore businessman. Plus new-partner blues, as Clark Johnson's Lewis tries to dump Reed Diamond's Kellerman (bad blood over last season's killing of the magnificently nasty drug lord Luther Mahoney). All this, plus Michelle Forbes' medical examiner at her most beguilingly cranky. For what more could you ask? A- -- KT

SATURDAY October 18

8-9PM C-16 (ABC) The elite G-men take on a two-pronged mission: to pursue an infamous terrorist and keep an eye on the environmental activist they believe will be his next target.

9-10PM EARLY EDITION (CBS, TV-G) Gary steps in to save a woman who has exploited the media with a false claim of cancer (no, not Murphy Brown), then ends up facing a very real death at the hands of her accomplice.

9-11PM LAST LIVES (Sci-Fi Channel, TV-14) The original feature stars Billy Wirth as a renegade from a parallel universe who comes to earth to abscond with the telepathic love of his life. Judge Reinhold is the scientist trying to stop him.

10-11PM THE PRACTICE (ABC, TV-14-D) Jimmy defends a man who was fired for looking like a monkey; Lindsay is dosed with a ''date rape'' drug; and Ellenor is sued for emotional distress by a rejected suitor.

TRIPLE PLAY-BY-PLAY 7:30PM THE WORLD SERIES (NBC) Bob Uecker, Bob Costas, and Joe Morgan (above) are behind the mikes for live coverage of game 1 of baseball's fall classic.

SUNDAY October 19

7-9PM WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY (ABC, TV-G) A look back at Sabrina the Teenage Witch, the 1996 cable movie that, in effect, served as the pilot for the enchanting Friday-night series.

8-8:30PM THE SIMPSONS (Fox, TV-PG-L) Flashback alert: After Lisa's trusty saxophone is run over, the family waxes nostalgic, recalling the genesis of her love affair with the beloved woodwind. Fyvush Finkel (Picket Fences) guest-voices.

8-9PM* NATURE (PBS) In ''Grand Canyon,'' the venerable documentary series looks at the geological and biological wonder of the world's most famous timeworn gash. *CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS

8-10PM GILDA RADNER: THE E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY (E!) In a rare television interview, brother Michael Radner joins Lorne Michaels, Martin Short, Garrett Morris, and Laraine Newman in discussing and celebrating the life of the comedian-actress who died of ovarian cancer in 1989.

8-9PM THE MUSEUM OF TELEVISION & RADIO SHOWCASE (TV Land, TV-PG) By way of toasting director Sam Peckinpah, the nostalgia network unearths one of his obscure, early offerings -- a nouveau- Western installment of The Dick Powell Theatre from 1962 entitled ''The Losers.''

8:30-9PM KING OF THE HILL (Fox, TV-PG) Speaking of unearthing...the only thing more irksome to Hank than seeing his front lawn become the site of an archaeological dig is Peggy's growing infatuation with the diggers.

9-10PM HITLER'S HENCHMEN (The History Channel, TV-PG) They would be Goring, Himmler, Goebbels, Hess, Speer, and Donitz. One-hour segments profiling each of the Third Reich flunkies air through Oct. 23.

9-11PM BARBARA TAYLOR BRADFORD'S LOVE IN ANOTHER TOWN (CBS, TV-PG-S) In an adaptation of the romance novelist's 1995 best-seller, Victoria Principal plays the fortysomething interior designer and Adrian Pasdar the twentysomething electrician who turns on the juice in her life.

9-10PM THE X-FILES (Fox, TV-PG-V) A gruesome double murder is committed just when Mulder experiences a bout of memory loss. Guess who winds up the prime suspect? (R)

9-10PM INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO: WILLEM DAFOE (Bravo, TV-PG) A chat with the actor who was so good as a Christ-like officer in Oliver Stone's Platoon that he was later awarded the chance to play the man himself in Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ.

10-11PM STORYTELLERS (VH1) The boomer-friendly bull session-cum-showcase features the neo-roots rock of Counting Crows.

AS GOOD AS GOLDIE 8-10PM HOPE (TNT, TV-PG) ''It's a tough story, and there are a lot of stories within it,'' says first-time director Goldie Hawn (above) of the feature, starring Jena Malone, Christine Lahti, Catherine O'Hara, and J.T. Walsh. Set in 1962 during the Cuban missile crisis and told through the eyes of a 12-year-old girl (Malone), it portrays the tensions ignited in a small Mississippi town by the untimely death of a black youth. In the process, the film likens the civil rights movement to the Cold War. Says Hawn: ''It's basically a metaphor for understanding that through these situations, whether it's racial riots or war between nations, [you can] conquer your fears by dealing with your own personal truth and not being afraid of it.''

THE MOOR THE MERRIER 8-10:30PM JANE EYRE (A&E, TV-PG) Charlotte Bronte's masterpiece of melodrama about the orphan governess and the lordly hunk who adores her receives a beautifully burnished TV adaptation far superior to the logy 1944 Joan Fontaine-Orson Welles movie. Samantha Morton (above right) -- Harriet Smith in A&E's version of Emma -- is a great Jane: She makes spunkiness gravely dignified. As the imperious but sapheaded-in-love Mr. Rochester, Ciaran Hinds (Cold Lazarus; above left) bellows orders and protestations of passion with equal fervor. Robert Young, who directed the recent John Cleese film Fierce Creatures, avoids Masterpiece Theatre solemnity and ends up with a potboiler you'll want to watch more than once. A- -- KT

[BOX]

THE GUEST LIST Look Who's on The Couch This Week (subject to change)

REGIS & KATHIE LEE Monday Alyssa Milano, Tia and Tamera Mowry (Sister, Sister) Tuesday Deborah Norville, Paul Sorvino Wednesday Penn & Teller Thursday Kirsten Dunst, David Chokachi Friday Tori Spelling, Jerry Van Dyke

ROSIE O'DONNELL Monday Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Matthew Lawrence Tuesday David Duchovny, Duran Duran, Jackie Joyner-Kersee Wednesday Keanu Reeves, Victoria Principal, Charlize Theron, musical guest Loretta Lynn Thursday Tipper Gore, Timothy Hutton, musical guest LL Cool J Friday Denis Leary, Ice-T, musical guest Carly Simon

LARRY KING Monday Deborah Norville Wednesday David Frost Thursday Luciano Pavarotti

DAVID LETTERMAN Monday David Duchovny, Yancy Butler, Todd Barry Tuesday Musical guests Green Day Wednesday Nathan Lane, Charlize Theron Thursday Mike Wallace, Christine Lahti, LL Cool J Friday Director Harmony Korine, musical guests Smash Mouth

JAY LENO Monday Goldie Hawn, musical guest Bryan White Tuesday Sigourney Weaver, Jennifer Love Hewitt Wednesday Jennifer Jason Leigh, Paul Sorvino, musical guests Aerosmith Thursday Keanu Reeves, Rowan Atkinson, musical guest Aaron Neville Friday Ethan Hawke, Kim Delaney