''Never eat alone. Eating should be a communal experience like bathing.'' Dharma (Jenna Elfman) on Dharma & Greg
''Attorney General Janet Reno charged Microsoft with trying to monopolize access to the Internet and has asked a federal court to fine the company a million dollars per day. Analysts say that at this rate, Bill Gates will be broke just 10 years after the earth crashes into the sun.'' Norm MacDonald on SNL
''Your last album sold 2.5 million copies. How come I don't know anybody who owns one?'' Craig Kilborn to Joey Lawrence on The Daily Show
''It was just a correction, an adjustment like the kind the Titanic made to that iceberg, or the kind the Cleveland Indians made in the bottom of the ninth.'' Keith Olbermann discussing the stock market plunge on MSNBC's The Big Show


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