''He's hung like a club-tailed horsefly.'' -- Entomologist Bambi Berenbaum (Bobbie Phillips), describing a well-endowed cockroach, on The X-Files
''Van Damme is so cool. You know why? His last name's a cussword!'' -- Mark (Glenn Quinn) on Roseanne
''They're as different as night and...later that night.'' -- Monica (Courteney Cox), about Ross (David Schwimmer) and Russ (Schwimmer), on Friends
''I've just got to sit down awhile. I feel like I want to have some soup. And for some reason I want to watch women's golf.'' -- Paul (Paul Reiser), after learning that his sister is a lesbian, on Mad About You
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