''AT&T this week announced the first of 40,000 layoffs. A spokesman for AT&T said, 'You know anyone who needs a good spokesman?' '' — Norm MacDonald on Saturday Night Live
''You're so upset, how come you're not looking for who killed her? Who's your hero, Eddie? O.J. Simpson?'' — Sipowicz (Dennis Franz) to Eddie Wong (Philip Moon), a man suspected of killing his girlfriend, on NYPD Blue
''Three hundred eighty-two dollars for doing nothing! Now I know how Regis feels.'' — Dan (John Goodman), celebrating an inheritance check, on Roseanne
''Doesn't matter. They're all the same.'' — Jimmy James (Stephen Root), after mistaking Mike Ovitz for Mike Eisner, on NewsRadio
