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''We never go out. The Olympic torch goes out more often than we do.'' -- Scott (Fred Willard), complaining to his husband, Leon (Martin Mull), on Roseanne
''What do you care, bitch?'' -- Joan Rivers, after Kathie Lee Gifford told her to come in from the freezing cold during Rivers' outdoor report, on Live With Regis & Kathie Lee
''Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.'' -- Chandler (Matthew Perry), celebrating his new big-screen TV, on Friends
''O.J. Simpson is going to appear on the Golf Channel. He is going to give some tips on how to play your way out of a terrible lie.'' -- Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect
