A DOG IN HEAT IS A HOT DOG AND OTHER RULES TO LIVE BY

A DOG IN HEAT IS A HOT DOG AND OTHER RULES TO LIVE BY E. Jean Carroll (Pocket Books, $23) On her TV advice show on the America's Talking Network, she tells it -- or, rather, yells it -- like it is, often while standing on the furniture. You think E. Jean is either intoxicating or just intoxicated. Most of this book consists of letters and responses culled from her Elle advice column, circa 1993-95. Here is E. Jean on everything from becoming a topless dancer (''I think every now and then a Magna Cum Laude needs to snap on a G-string'') to mothers' boyfriends (''Such chaps should be kept in hotels on the outskirts of town and fed a strict diet of oysters and tequila''). Her answers are witty and wise, but what really (as the author might put it) yanks our love chain is the all-too-brief, autobiographical sketches at the beginning of each chapter, including her edgy encounter with Lyle Lovett and her escapades with Romero, the male escort. Advice to E. Jean: Next time, more of this. B+