''Well, you don't want to take the boys on the same day because the girls shouldn't find out that young that they are going to get paid less for what they do.''
— Kevin Rooney on Take Our Daughters to Work Day, on Politically Incorrect

''Unabomber suspect Ted Kaczynski has been taken from his 10-by-12-foot cabin and placed in an 8-by-10-foot cell. We showed him, huh?''
— Dennis Miller on Dennis Miller Live

''Yesterday a Florida court ruled that exotic dancers must cover one third of their buttocks. Now, if only they could pass the same law for the cable guy, we'd be in great shape.''
— Conan O'Brien on Late Night


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