''Thanks to your gloomy music, my children have stopped dreaming
about a future I can't possibly provide!''
Homer Simpson, expressing his appreciation to the Smashing
Pumpkins' Billy Corgan, on The Simpsons
''Jerry Seinfeld's girlfriend, Shoshanna Lonstein, turns 21 years
old next week. Seinfeld said in honor of the event he'll stop
bathing her in the sink.''
Conan O'Brien on Late Night
''While performing in New York this week to a packed audience,
Yoko Ono shocked the crowd by tearing up the Bible. Most
shocking of all — Yoko Ono performed to a packed audience.''
Norm MacDonald on Saturday Night Live
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