Sound Bites

''Things aren't looking too good for Bob Dole. In fact, polls show that if the election were held today, [he'd] lose to Susan Lucci.''
— Jay Leno on The Tonight Show

''Sen. Al D'Amato is investigating Kathie Lee Gifford for hiring the cast of The King and I to make culottes.''
— Nathan Lane on the Tony Awards

''Jerry Seinfeld proposed to Shoshanna Lonstein on the night of her 21st birthday. Apparently, he wanted to wait to make sure she wasn't just using him to buy beer.''
— Conan O'Brien on Late Night

''Tornadoes over the weekend prevented audiences from seeing the movie 'Twister'. Damage to one theater was so intense that a real-life twister actually blew a plot into the movie.''
— Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect