Considering all those years of accumulated hot air (not to mention publishing Private Parts and Miss America), Howard Stern's story isn't exactly begging to be told. But here we go again, this time superunauthorized: Stern not only refused to talk but gagged his boss, his family, and presumably his sidekick Robin Quivers. Paul D. Colford presses on like a champ, trotting out a parade of bemused, laconic childhood friends, high school teachers, and past colleagues. The author's stint at now-defunct New York Newsday explains his tabloidish cadences and statistics-stuffed overinterpretation of Stern's ticky-tacky Long Island roots. Though unsanctioned write-ups of recluses, enigmas, and the deceased certainly have their place, since Stern is emphatically none of the above, Howard Stern: King of All Media makes for nothing but dead time. C-
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