''Madonna and I are close friends. But we're very different. She sleeps with her trainer; I ignore mine.'' — Rosie O'Donnell on The Rosie O'Donnell Show
''I have this book on how to keep good friendships from going bad. Oh. Wait. That bitch Marcy never returned it.'' — Kate (Jessica Tuck) on The Last Frontier
''On the bright side for Bob Dole, unlike most people who leave the Senate early, he's not going to jail.'' — David Letterman on Late Show
''I'm the fat lady and I ain't singin'. Go Sonics!'' — a sign held by an amply sized woman attending Game 4 of the NBA Finals on NBC
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