''O.J. Simpson's ex-girlfriend Paula Barbieri is now dating Mike
Tyson...They have a lot in common: Both have taken showers with
murderers.''
— David Letterman on Late Show
''Bob Dole [has] proven that he's in...great medical shape. He's
married to the head of the American Red Cross, so he can get
fresh blood whenever he wants it.''
— Harry Shearer, to John Hockenberry, on MSNBC's InterNight
''It was reported today that Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn are
engaged. He's really lucky — he doesn't have to go through that
awkward evening of meeting her parents.''
— Conan O'Brien on Late Night
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