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1 MADONNA'S BABY She can't wait to fill in her baby book -- her first step, her first curse word, her first tattoo, her first piercing...
2 MOLLY RINGWALD AND SHANNEN DOHERTY They're feuding over parking spaces. There's not enough of them in front of the unemployment office?
3 GET ON THE BUS About 20 guys on their way to the Million Man March. Or 10, if you believe the National Park Service.
4 INK The long-delayed Ted Danson-and-Mary Steenburgen show premieres after a revamping. It used to be called Ick.
5 BURT REYNOLDS CBS is suing him for $3.7 million plus interest on loans. Who else would accept a hairpiece as collateral?
6 ALANIS MORISSETTE She's become the best-selling female artist of all time. Until Whitney Houston releases a new album.
7 BRETT BUTLER She's being treated for an addiction to painkillers. They were meant for her staff.
8 THE YANKEE HERO A 12-year-old who reached out and stole them a home run. Too bad he had to cut his ethics class to go to the game.
9 SLEEPERS Grown-up reform school kids take revenge on an evil guard. They make him listen to the vice presidential debate.
10 XENA The Warrior Princess hurt herself falling off a horse in L.A. Fortunately, Dr. Quinn belongs to her HMO.
11 MILLENNIUM A secret agent's mission is to catch a band of abnormal serial killers. As opposed to the normal kind.
12 TALK-SHOW TRIAL A guy killed a man who ''embarrassed'' him on The Jenny Jones Show. That's a good way to avoid attention.
13 TO GILLIAN ON HER 37TH BIRTHDAY How is it men can see their wives' ghosts yet the bathtub ring is invisible?
14 SABRINA, THE TEENAGE WITCH TV's hit about a high schooler with super powers. We called them cheerleaders.
15 OXYGEN BARS Instead of liquor, for $13 you inhale 20 minutes' worth of pure O2. And nothing looks sexier than a tube up your nose.
