In most beach movies, the plot is as irrelevant as bikini strings. The T&A fest Phat Beach, which briefly played in theaters, puts a little more weight on its script: Obese sad sack Benny King (Hopkins), a frustrated poet (and virgin), suffers such a maudlin cavalcade of humiliations while chasing bikinied bunnies that viewers are almost drawn in — as by a car accident. Yet, despite hyping a cameo by Coolio on its cover and seeming to value King's sappy paeans to true love, Phat Beach only pretends to be anything other than a moving centerfold. Ultimately, the flick reaches no deeper than the omnipresent cleavage that serves as the real — and eventually dull — star. C-
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