According to the MRC's Parents Television Council, prime time is a labyrinth of immorality we need help navigating. To that end, PTC's Family Guide -- sent free to advertisers and schools -- uses red and yellow lights to flag ''obscene language'' (bitch, ass, bite me) and ''adult-oriented themes''; a green light promises ''responsible themes and traditional values,'' a la Home Improvement. Here are a few excerpts:

[Green Light] EARLY EDITION (CBS) ''An inspiring series, [it]stresses the importance of faith, family, and self-sacrifice.''

[Yellow Light] MR. RHODES (NBC) ''Six uses of suck appeared in one episode.''

[Yellow Light] THE SIMPSONS (Fox) ''Has ridiculed entrepreneurs [and] educators.''

[Yellow Light] GRACE UNDER FIRE (ABC) ''One devoutly religious recurrent character has [continuously] been ridiculed for her beliefs.''

[Yellow Light] EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND (CBS) ''Title character is devoted to his wife and children.... [But] the husband and wife frequently discuss their sex life...often lamenting the lack thereof.''

[Red Light] FRIENDS (NBC) ''May be the raciest sitcom on prime time. All six regulars have been sexually active, and dialogue has contained...explicitly sexual content.''

[Red Light] 3RD ROCK FROM THE SUN (NBC) ''Extremely suggestive humor permeates virtually every episode of this early-evening sitcom; obscenities occasionally appear.''

[Red Light] DARK SKIES (NBC) ''Attacks the military as consisting of members who consider themselves above the law.''

[Red Light] CYBILL (CBS) ''Marriage as an institution is frequently ridiculed...has included situations involving phone sex.''

[Red Light] THE NANNY (CBS) ''Queen of the double entendre...[the show] routinely contains sexual innuendo...clearly inappropriate for its young target audience.''


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