Sound Bites

Sound Bites

TV's funniest lines from Jan. 13-19, 1994

''(Dan) Quayle went in for an appendectomy .He said he hopes that, with luck, someone will step forward with a donor appendix.''
-Jay Leno on The Tonight Show

''In the old days, (tennis players wore) long pants and big heavy sweaters. How long did it take them to get over that? We're out here in the hot sun, running around after a ball . Maybe that's why they started keeping score like that. Point. Make it 15, let's just get this over with.''
-Jerry Seinfeld on Seinfeld

''Yesterday, a big truck in Colorado overturned on the highway and dumped 1,000 pounds of McDonald's french fries. So here's a pretty good scheme to clean it up: They sent for 50 pounds of ketchup and President Clinton.''
-David Letterman on Late Show

Originally posted Jan 20, 1995 Published in issue #258 Jan 20, 1995 Order article reprints
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